Remembering Endicott

My dearest Liz.  After years of hearing amazing stories about your children, I finally had the pleasure of meeting Endi in 2013 when you and he were up from Virginia visiting Harvard.  We met for dinner at Chez Henri, and I was so excited to see you and meet your son.  He was so impressive and charming, and seemed equally comfortable talking with “the adults” and entertaining a 6 year old boy.  He engaged with Michael the entire evening.  And I’ll never forget how, when we left the restaurant and started walking back towards Harvard Square, Michael took hold of Endi’s hand while they crossed the street together.  You and I just looked at each other and smiled. 

I will always recall that evening fondly and the young man who made such an impression on my son.  May God bless and comfort you and your family, and help you with this unbearable loss.  I love you and am holding you in my prayers and in my heart.

Christmas 2013 ❤️❤️

Endi-

Bear with me because I am writing this at 1:47 in the AM.

I am here now at your Grandma Nancy’s house with all these pictures of you around me, reminding me, though I did not need that, of the child you were. So fun-loving and energetic, always with a smile on your face. Not surprising, of course, since, in that way you managed to capture one of the best parts of your father. How fitting that you carried his first name as your middle name. My memories of you are mostly when you were younger, before the black hair that everyone has mentioned. Back when you were as tow-headed as your big brother and sister. I remember your dad coming up to pick me up when I was going to school in VA during spring break and going to see you all. Moving away from Delaware and up to NJ unfortunately also meant for me that I wouldn’t be able to see you (or the others as much), though I am now so glad for those fleeting of opportunities.

However, through these messages, I realize what a detriment it was for me to miss seeing you grow up into the young man you became. Though, I like to think I got a small picture of him the last time I saw you in 2013 at Christmas time. Because the memory that evokes in me is a little different, though not far removed from the pictures that I have seen on here. The young man I met was one who had the utmost of patience for his young cousin, Jake. I saw you play with him and never losing patience or wanting to go out and do different more grown-up things. So, it surprised me not at all when I took a picture of all of you that he is perched at your side, snuggling against you. You reminded me so much of your father then and I like to think maybe that gave me a little bit of a sneak peek into the father you might have been. Which makes me cry and makes me proud of you all at the same time. The indelible picture I have of you in my head though is of you holding your youngest cousin, my daughter. There is a picture of you holding her and you looking down at her and her looking up at you, that gives me such a sense of loss and peace all at once. There is one job I have to do as a mother now and that is to hold her close and teach her about her cousin, Endicott. Though I sorely, sorely wish that you were around so that she could get to know you. You were in a class by yourself.

I go to sleep now with the memories of your father singing the “Endicott” song to you when you were a child.

My love goes out now not just to you and my memories of you, but always and forever, your father, my brother, Sam, Liz, your brothers, Holden and Simon and your sister, Hannah.

Love Always,
Your Aunt Sarah (and Cousin Gabrielle)

Me: Let’s find you a crocodile, since you’re leaving me for Australia!

Endicott: No I want the dragon, it’s way cooler.

I laughed the entire night watching you walk around with that fake tattoo- smiling so proudly, carefree, and confidently; it was the way you always walked through life. Missing you and all the laughs you gave me.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

—

Mark Twain

Oh, my sweet Liz.  All I’ve been able to think about is the photo of Endi’s First Communion picture that you used to carry around so proudly. That amazing, sweet and mischievous smile will be forever etched in my mind.  Please know that our family’s heart breaks with yours and we send you all the love in the world at this time.

I think the reason your Target family is so very enamored with you and your family is because of the passion, adventure, togetherness and love that you have thrown into every step and day of parenthood.  The Ackermans always seemed to me to be the family you’d want to join if you got the choice.

Endicott will live on forever.  His life, captured so beautifully in these photos, seems to have packed 80 years worth of living into his short time on this Earth.  We should all learn from that.  We wish you so much love and peace during this tragic time.

Erin, Justin & Lillian Saif

Lizzie - this one is for you!!! We love you, Tammi and Mom Linda XOXO

Although I never met Endicott, I feel like I knew him because of all the sweet things Liz always said about him, and from her yearly Christmas cards that always bragged on all her kids. My Mom, Linda, and I pray that Endicott will forever rest in peace in God’s arms for eternity in heaven. God bless his sweet soul. He is gone far too soon and too young. God bless and love to your entire family!! XOXO

I have met Endi only once, but felt this quote was consistent to way he lived his life.  I’ve had the pleasure of watching him grow up & experience life through my cherished friend Liz and her wonderful stories updating me on the adventures of Endi.  Thank you Liz for sharing them with me.      

It’s been amazing to read all the personal messages and see the pictures from everyone who was in some way touched or inspired by Endi and how he lived.

All My Love To The Ackerman Family,

Melissa

To Endi

I still remember that night we met in Canada two years ago. You were walking down the hotel hallway, shirtless of course. You carried yourself with such confidence and a presence like no other. I called you Apricot because I couldn’t comprehend that your name was actually Endicott, but I should’ve known then that a special person like you deserved a special name. I now cherish the few times I got to spend with you including that late night trip to silver diner for milkshakes, that hour or two we spent talking in my car in a church parking lot, and that night you crashed my friends surprise party to hang out with me. I am already missing your smile and charm, you are so loved. 

This past week, I feel like I’ve reread every message and interaction between the two of us. I stumbled across my favorite one from one of my instagram posts, it reads “Don’t say anything now but just imagine how gorgeous our kids are going to be” It breaks my heart that no one got the chance to have you be their father because there is no doubt in my mind that you would’ve been a great one. And I would’ve been damn lucky too. 

I kept in frequent contact with Endi these past two years and in July will be studying abroad for a semester in Auckland, New Zealand. My first choice was Sydney, Endi being a huge factor in that but classes ended up not working and I settled on Auckland. Just two weeks ago, Endi and I were talking about him visiting Auckland during his winter break, something I was very much looking forward to. I will now carry his memory with me through my travels, and if i get the chance to visit Sydney, I’ll be sure to say a prayer for Endi and the entire Ackerman family. 

Much love

Brenna

Not many football players also went for the IB Diploma. He was just as smart as athletic while also being kind and humble. He could take all IB classes and make some of the most amazing catches on the field. He had a bright future. I remember he told me about possibly playing football at Harvard and some other prestigious schools. I always thought he’d get very far in life with his talents. I just pray he enjoyed life to the fullest and for comfort to his family. I’m going to cherish conversations we had in class, playing football together, and being captains for the same game.